Shit You Hear in a Library

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Dear college students, You should know how to use a public restroom by now. Bathroom etiquette is something that you learn in Kindergarten. I am afraid that if you don’t know how to use the public bathroom, as an adult, you should not be in college. Your moms aren’t here. Clean up after yourself. Rant over. 

Filed under college students rant bathroom public restrooms etiquette

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Do you have any books to help teachers?
Nope. In this entire library NOTHING will help you or your students. Oh, no wait. When I said NOTHING, I meant EVERYTHING! Everything we have will help you or your students in one way or another.

Filed under teachers books libraries stupid questions

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Student 1: God “A”. Chill out. Frankie says relax.

Student 2: WHAT? Who is Frankie?

Student 1: It is from Friends. Ross has it on a shirt.

Me: It is NOT from Friends! *As I immediately jump on YouTube to educate them on Frankie Goes To Hollywood.*

~~~~After watching the video~~~~

Students: Wow. You are old.

Moral of the story: It’s a hard job to be a librarian, providing students with correct information, but someones got to do it!

Filed under Frankie Goes To Hollywood Frankie says relax Friends Library Students librarians Ross

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Student: Do you have the book The Philosophy of Hans Georg Gadamer?

Me: No, but we can order it for you, it will take a few days for it to get here.

Student: Oh bummer, I need it today for a final research paper that is due tomorrow.

Me: Better call Barnes & Nobel

Don’t wait till the night before you research paper is due to visit the library!

Filed under libraries research paper finals Barnes & Nobel

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Student: Do you have anything that will write my resume for me?

Me: Like a template? Yea, the computer has MS Word to help you form it.

Student: No, I mean like someone to do it for me.

Me: ……….No.

Libraries are great resources for people who are looking for jobs. We have reference books that will help you with your resume as well as free computer time to search for jobs online or work on your resume. However, your momma doesn’t work here.

Filed under libraries library resumes learn to do things by yourself

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I was helping a moth go free out a window, and now my take home final is on the 5th floor awning. Can someone help me get it?
Moral of the story? Always use a non-important, college-ruled, lined paper when setting fee creatures out of a 5 story building’s window. 

Filed under libraries finals week dumb wtf?

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Jr High Girl: Do you have a boyfriend?

Me: No

Jr High Girl: Are you married?

Me: No

Jr High Girl: Well why not?

Jr High Boy: (without missing a beat) Cause she is smart!

immediately high-fived jr. high boy

Filed under boys vs girls libraries